Give Thanks.

       Thanksgiving is this week. The holiday is centered around thankfulness. It is a time when we give thanks to God for everything he has given to us. I am so incredibly thankful for what he has blessed me with. He has given me the chance to go to Peru twice, and to get to go to Costa Rica and Belize next summer to do his work. He has given me wonderful friends, a roof over my head, and many other things. I know for a fact that I am a favored child of God. He has blessed me so much. 

       Sometimes however, I don't feel as thankful as I should. Instead of thanking God I question him. I wonder why certain things happen to me. I don't appreciate the things he has given me. I want to do things my way instead of his way. I wonder why he has placed me in the position that I am in. I wonder why he stuck me where I am. I wonder why things don't turn out how I feel like they should. I wonder why I feel so trapped. I don't understand why I feel so heartbroken. 

       "Why" is a stupid question. "Why" gets in the way of everything. "Why" forces us to dwell on the things we can't control. "Why" lets the devil in. When we ask "Why" we start to doubt. We doubt God's love for us. We doubt that he cares about us. Instead of asking "Why" we need to ask "What's next?" God has a plan. His plan is so incredibly perfect that we can't comprehend its greatness. God is great and perfect, so his plans are great and perfect. He knows what's best when we don't. 

       Even in the hard times we should thank God. We should thank God for every breath we breathe in. We should thank God for every sunrise we wake up to. We should thank God for every day that we live, because it could very well be our last. No matter how bad things get, God is with us every step of the way. He loves us so much that he wants to be with us. We are his children. No matter what we do, he will still love us. 

       So I am thankful for the oxygen in my lungs. I am thankful that I can sing praises to my wonderful God. I am thankful that he gives me hope. I am thankful that he lets me keep waking up. I am thankful that I can live in a place where I can freely worship him. I am thankful that I am safe. I am thankful that I have been set free. I am thankful that my God will hold me in his arms when I just need to cry. I am thankful that when things get tough he will carry me. I am thankful that he leads me every step of the way. When things fall apart, my God is the only thing holding me together, and for that I give thanks. 

I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High. (Psalm 7:17)

Meeting the Finish Line.

       My uncle died a few days ago. I didn't know him very well, but sitting in his funeral today I learned alot about what he was like from people who did know him. He loved life. He loved to laugh. The people who knew loved him to no end. I felt like I was the outsider and they were his family. His funeral wasn't sad. He didn't want it to be. He wanted it to be a celebration. It's like running a marathon and finally making it to the finish line. You celebrate when you complete the race. 

       Some races are harder than others. In some cases people speed through the race without a care in the world and make it there first. They live life purely for enjoyment, even if what they are doing isn't right. They want to get the most out of life, but to do that they take the wrong path. They take a shortcut and then their race is over sooner. They take the easy path of parties, drunkenness, and many other things so that they can have the most "fun" possible. This shortcut has long-term effects that bring them to the finish line way sooner than they would like. Their race is over, and they can't change it.

      Others start their race and get lost. They accidentally turn on a path that goes through forests of thorns. They don't understand why their path is so hard to go by. They blame God for their tough path. They don't see that at the end of their path is life. They don't see God's beauty in the hard, ugly times. They go down the path for a while and find a broad path that seems to be filled with flowers and sunshine. It looks good compared to the path that they have been going by for so long. They see others going down this new path and they seem to be so happy. After being on the path of thorns for so long, these people take off running down the broad path. This path is the same shortcut that the other people took. This path leads to CERTAIN DESTRUCTION. 

       Others find themselves on a path that has a few thorns, but they find that there is someone on that path to help them. That person is Jesus. Sure there are thorns along the path from time to time, but with their new found running partner, they can work through them and trust that fighting through the thorns will only strengthen them. They can see the beauty in all things. They know that all things will work out. They know that when they arrive at the finish line, they will be rewarded, and the reward will be great. They not only completed the race, but they won the race. They may not have finished first and there were some struggles along the way, but the reward is great. 

       We need to stay on the path that leads to righteousness. We need to trust God during all of the hard times. He will take care of us. We need to help others find the right path and help them work through the thorns. We need to be able to meet the finish line and have pride in the way our race has been run. So let's run the race, and have it glorify our wonderful father.

He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake. Psalm 23:3

You Are BEAUTIFUL.

       I'm going to let you know upfront... this post is a rant. Not a stupid rant like, "Oh my gosh. I went to make some toast this morning and somebody got crumbs in the butter. I make wheat toast and those crumbs were definitely white bread crumbs. I just can't stand people and the world is so unfair because there are crumbs in my butter!" No. Can you say first world problems? Save the drama. This rant is about how there are so many young girls who can't see how BEAUTIFUL they are. 

    I see these girls on a daily basis. They've been shown all their lives what "Beauty" is, but what they've seen isn't what true beauty is. They see models and actresses. They see skinny. They see flawless.

      When they see things like this, they look in the mirror and they don't measure up in their own mind. They think that they can't measure up. They think that they need to change themselves. They go to extremes so that they can "fix" themselves. They can't look in the mirror and see what God sees. They don't see God's beautiful creation.

      It breaks my heart when I see girls who don't see the truth. I mean, how can you look at something that God made with incredible detail and not find it beautiful. When God made you, he made you with purpose. Everything about you is how he wanted you to be. Every little detail is his doing. You are beautifully and wonderfully made! You are made in HIS image and HIS likeness! 

     However, I have been on the other side. I have failed to see the beauty that God made. All I saw was an imperfect, flawed person who could never measure up. I couldn't find any worth in myself. I put my worth in what other's thought of me instead of how much my heavenly father loves me. I believed the lies that Satan whispered into my ear. He told me that I was ugly. He told me that no one could ever love me. That's when I let God in and let him change my heart. He changed how I saw myself. He showed me that everything I let myself believe was a lie. He healed all of my brokenness. He showed me that real beauty isn't what's on the outside, but what is within. I am a beloved child of God, and that is all I need to know. When I look through my father's eyes, I am free. Free of expectations, fear, sadness, and hate. It doesn't matter if I never become "flawless" or "perfect". God CHOSE me. He WANTS me. That alone makes me worth more than gold. 

"You'll be a slave to nothing." -Holly Starr

The Season of Waiting.

     Waiting stinks. Bad. That's where I am right now. In the "Season of Waiting". Sometimes I feel like there's no way that God can use me where I am. However, it is incredibly clear in his word that he can and WILL use me. I'm at the point where I want him to use me, but I don't know how he's going to do it. I feel so inadequate while I'm waiting. I feel like I've been put on hold, even though I know I haven't been. It's difficult to wait.

     I'm waiting for answers. I want to know what I'm supposed to do and where I'm supposed to be. I can be impatient from time to time. So waiting... Not my strong suit. In the process of waiting however, I'm starting to learn some things. 

It's not all about me.

     I've been waiting to figure out what I'M supposed to do and where I'M supposed to be. I need to keep in mind that it is how HE will use me and where HE wants me to be. I need to be living my life for HIM instead of for myself. I need to glorify him in everything that I do no matter what. 

      Waiting is incredibly painful for me. I don't always know how much longer I can last. I know that God doesn't just want to make me squirm, he has an incredible purpose for me to live out. It just isn't the time for me to figure it out yet. My pain will make me stronger. It will help me to grow. Waiting is obviously not comfortable, but there is no growth in the comfort zone or comfort in the growth zone.

     While I'm waiting, I know that I can put my hope in God, because he knows me. Inside and out. He has a plan in store for me. My future is bright with God's light shining the way. While I wait, I'm going to help people see that light. Because that is what God calls us all to do. Love his creation and help his children find him. This call is never going to change. God pours his love into us and we need to pour that same love into others. 

     When waiting, we still need to move forward, even when it isn't easy. We have to finish this race that God has set before us. Every step we take needs to bring us closer to God. His answers will come. Through everything, we need to trust him. He's still holding onto us. He's not going to leave us. His plan is PERFECT. He is PERFECT. Even when we don't understand where our path is going or why there is a blockade in our way, we can lean on his perfection and know that everything is going to be okay.

"I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. Psalm 40:1"

Lost.

     One word that would describe my first day back to school would be, LONG. This morning feels like it was ten years ago. I am so incredibly exhausted. I didn't die, so that's good. Today was pretty okay. It was better than I thought it would be.

        Walking down the hallways, all day, I saw people who just looked lost. Not just the occasional Freshman with their head in their schedule looking for a room number, but people I see everyday. Some were lost in themselves. All they were concerned about was how they looked, who was looking, how awesome their first day of school outfit was, among many other things. They could barely look up long enough from their mirrors or their phones to see the things in life that truly matter.

      Others were lost in the world's expectations. They feel like they have to live up to this image, or they don't matter. They feel like they have to be someone that others feel is worthy of friendship. They don't act like themselves because they feel like they aren't good enough. They want to win the affections of the people around them, when in reality, they are enough.

     Some were lost in the shuffle. They walk down the hallway looking at the floor. They feel beaten down. They feel as if nobody notices them. They feel invisible. They are sad because they are all alone, with no one to go to. No one to confide in. They have no one to love them for them. They are just lost in the shuffle of life. Thrown in and forgotten about.

     I think we have all been lost at one point in our lives. We may not have even noticed how lost we were. We just think that we are living life. Some of us have been so lost that we don't think that we can bear it anymore and just quit. We think, "Nobody cares. So why bother?" But quitting just buries us in our lostness. It keeps us from ever being FOUND.

For the Son of Man came to seek and save the lost. (Luke 19:10)

           Even when we feel alone and lost in this crazy world, we can trust God to find us. We are his beloved children and he wants us. He has CHOSEN us. No matter how lost we get, he will always find us. No matter what.

I will give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. (John 10:28)

Numero Uno.

       So... This is my first blog post. This blog if anything, is a place for me to let out my frustrations, joys, and sadness, along with my ADD thoughts. So if you're reading this, go for it. Be enlightened. If you're not... then whatever. Do your thing.

       I'm going back to school soon, and I can't say that I'm excited about it. I feel like that scared little kindergarten kid crying in a corner, except that I'm a Junior in High School. (Okay maybe it isn't that serious...) But seriously, I'm not ready to go back. The exhaustion from school mixed in with crazy, girly emotional swings just makes it UNBEARABLE. Sometimes it's hard to just stop and breathe. Sometimes everything is so chaotic, and my mind is racing making it IMPOSSIBLE to sleep, so I just lay there and cry. But here's the cool thing, the game changer. My God is with me ALWAYS. No matter how crazy it gets, no matter how unbearable I think my life may be, God is there. He lets me stop and breathe. 

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. (Exodus 14:14)

       God has put me in these situations for a reason. I may not be able to comprehend those reasons at the moment... But there are reasons nonetheless. He has put me here on this world, in this town, in this home, to be his light in the darkness. He has put me here to bring honor and glory to him. He has put me here to bring people to him. Because people need him. This world needs him. All the way from Peru, to Costa Rica, to Uganda, and to this little town in Texas. 

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:19-20)

       God is going to be with me everywhere I go. He is my father and he loves me. He is going to be with me during the happiness and the laughter as well as the sadness and the tears. He is going to help me grow into the woman he wants me to be. He may have to put me through the flames to do that, but there will be beauty from ashes. With him, I will overcome. But sometimes to do that, you need to just stop and breathe.

I have told you these things so that you may have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! For I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)