You Are BEAUTIFUL.

       I'm going to let you know upfront... this post is a rant. Not a stupid rant like, "Oh my gosh. I went to make some toast this morning and somebody got crumbs in the butter. I make wheat toast and those crumbs were definitely white bread crumbs. I just can't stand people and the world is so unfair because there are crumbs in my butter!" No. Can you say first world problems? Save the drama. This rant is about how there are so many young girls who can't see how BEAUTIFUL they are. 

    I see these girls on a daily basis. They've been shown all their lives what "Beauty" is, but what they've seen isn't what true beauty is. They see models and actresses. They see skinny. They see flawless.

      When they see things like this, they look in the mirror and they don't measure up in their own mind. They think that they can't measure up. They think that they need to change themselves. They go to extremes so that they can "fix" themselves. They can't look in the mirror and see what God sees. They don't see God's beautiful creation.

      It breaks my heart when I see girls who don't see the truth. I mean, how can you look at something that God made with incredible detail and not find it beautiful. When God made you, he made you with purpose. Everything about you is how he wanted you to be. Every little detail is his doing. You are beautifully and wonderfully made! You are made in HIS image and HIS likeness! 

     However, I have been on the other side. I have failed to see the beauty that God made. All I saw was an imperfect, flawed person who could never measure up. I couldn't find any worth in myself. I put my worth in what other's thought of me instead of how much my heavenly father loves me. I believed the lies that Satan whispered into my ear. He told me that I was ugly. He told me that no one could ever love me. That's when I let God in and let him change my heart. He changed how I saw myself. He showed me that everything I let myself believe was a lie. He healed all of my brokenness. He showed me that real beauty isn't what's on the outside, but what is within. I am a beloved child of God, and that is all I need to know. When I look through my father's eyes, I am free. Free of expectations, fear, sadness, and hate. It doesn't matter if I never become "flawless" or "perfect". God CHOSE me. He WANTS me. That alone makes me worth more than gold. 

"You'll be a slave to nothing." -Holly Starr

The Season of Waiting.

     Waiting stinks. Bad. That's where I am right now. In the "Season of Waiting". Sometimes I feel like there's no way that God can use me where I am. However, it is incredibly clear in his word that he can and WILL use me. I'm at the point where I want him to use me, but I don't know how he's going to do it. I feel so inadequate while I'm waiting. I feel like I've been put on hold, even though I know I haven't been. It's difficult to wait.

     I'm waiting for answers. I want to know what I'm supposed to do and where I'm supposed to be. I can be impatient from time to time. So waiting... Not my strong suit. In the process of waiting however, I'm starting to learn some things. 

It's not all about me.

     I've been waiting to figure out what I'M supposed to do and where I'M supposed to be. I need to keep in mind that it is how HE will use me and where HE wants me to be. I need to be living my life for HIM instead of for myself. I need to glorify him in everything that I do no matter what. 

      Waiting is incredibly painful for me. I don't always know how much longer I can last. I know that God doesn't just want to make me squirm, he has an incredible purpose for me to live out. It just isn't the time for me to figure it out yet. My pain will make me stronger. It will help me to grow. Waiting is obviously not comfortable, but there is no growth in the comfort zone or comfort in the growth zone.

     While I'm waiting, I know that I can put my hope in God, because he knows me. Inside and out. He has a plan in store for me. My future is bright with God's light shining the way. While I wait, I'm going to help people see that light. Because that is what God calls us all to do. Love his creation and help his children find him. This call is never going to change. God pours his love into us and we need to pour that same love into others. 

     When waiting, we still need to move forward, even when it isn't easy. We have to finish this race that God has set before us. Every step we take needs to bring us closer to God. His answers will come. Through everything, we need to trust him. He's still holding onto us. He's not going to leave us. His plan is PERFECT. He is PERFECT. Even when we don't understand where our path is going or why there is a blockade in our way, we can lean on his perfection and know that everything is going to be okay.

"I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. Psalm 40:1"