I Survived.

     I survived the first week of school. I survived the tears, stress, anger, exhaustion, and work that came with it. I thought that my senior year was going to be easy! I thought wrong. I seriously am about to have a nervous breakdown. My eye has been twitching nonstop for about a week. On the bright side, I didn't die. 
    I have a feeling that this year is going to be different. In the past, my high school experience has been pretty awful. Things happened that would push me down to a place where I hated being, but I couldn't come out of it. I felt stuck. No one was there to help me out of the hole I had fallen in. I was alone, and it was dark. 
    This year, I am leaving the past in the past. I can see a light. There's no more, "doing it on my own." I know that I am loved. I know that I am needed. I know that I am important. It is so hard being in a place where you have no clue what to do. However, sometimes God puts you in places like that to help you realize what he is trying to tell you. He sometimes has to go to huge measures to show you what he wants for you. We just need to start paying attention even when things seem hopeless. God has shown me so many things in the past year. He has constantly showed me things that I need to change in my life in order to be closer to him. Sometimes it hurts when he shows me things, but I've survived. 
    The hole I was in is starting to get smaller. The dark is becoming light. It is getting easier to climb out of the hole I've been in, because now I can see a hand reaching down to me to help. God has been placing so many different people in my life that care about me and love me. He is also bringing back people who loved me before, but I just couldn't see it because of the darkness in my hole. "I can't get out" is no longer an excuse. I refuse to retreat back into myself and hide. I've been hiding for way too long. I don't want to "Just get by." I want to live life fully. I want to love outrageously. I want to do what God made me to do, and he didn't make me to hide. 
    I survived. I've survived the pain, the sadness, the hurt, the dark, and everything in between. And each day that I survive is a reason to be joyful. I am going to keep learning, because God is still showing me how things should be. He is showing me how to live, and helping me to survive. 

Live BIG. Live LOVE. Live REAL. Live LIFE.